ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Hot summer sun beating down on my back
Like kisses
Unbidden
Still, they hold no sway
No sway in my sweater
Given by him to me
Leaves falling like the tears
Pumpkins on the porch
On the porch, in the winter
Icy breath mirrors
My snowman's heart
No snowflake may touch me
No snowflake in the spring
When at last he returns
A man to the shadow
Left in my dreams
A partner
With real lips to kiss
The world renews itself
As we renew our love
Even when he's gone again
I wait for his return
For his return, the day it's over
The day that he's released
No guns will ever touch him
As long as he's with me
Like kisses
Unbidden
Still, they hold no sway
No sway in my sweater
Given by him to me
Leaves falling like the tears
Pumpkins on the porch
On the porch, in the winter
Icy breath mirrors
My snowman's heart
No snowflake may touch me
No snowflake in the spring
When at last he returns
A man to the shadow
Left in my dreams
A partner
With real lips to kiss
The world renews itself
As we renew our love
Even when he's gone again
I wait for his return
For his return, the day it's over
The day that he's released
No guns will ever touch him
As long as he's with me
Literature
to refine by nature (is to love by night)
it is a fever, a gasoline wet dried and drowned in drunkness
and then, she
a grenade in the process of being pulled
and caught in the perspective of saving but never
quite wanting
;
there is a tongue-tied mess reeling beneath the cacophony of lover’s sheets.
peeling down the nanoseconds to the first kiss
they drowned in the taste of the ocean cry of never matching collarbones
to the fat of her neck and the hearth of her belly
like she was licked with the moon
with the touch of wine-stained kisses,
a well-mastered disaster
loving and loving
and…
;
“just tell me what you want.”
lungs shiver into the December n
Literature
To Write Love on Her Arms
We’re riding in the car like we always do, always on our way to somewhere else. I’m driving, passing highway sign after mile marker, counting the interstates until we get where we’re going.
She’s asleep in the passenger seat, skin porcelain pale in the choked dawn sun. It’s streaming through the windowpane in flashes that mark time with the gaps in the trees, just a few hundred miles more.
Somehow I can’t see how this is a real thing, real like the way hearts break, but like floating up above here, just looking down into her beautiful face. I shake myself like it was only a dream, but here she is, right here in
Literature
Leaf
dry leaf
dips her toes in the puddle
and dances on
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
Created for this contest: [link]
© 2010 - 2024 snowriddenwolf
Comments17
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactHi S.R.W.!
I like...
- the "repeat" technique last-to-first-line from verse to verse
- the fact that you're using simple words, not too "artsy"
- the "guns" line near the end, which jerks the whole poem a little beyond too much levity
- the broken rhythm
I don't like...
- the high "meta" of meaning, not that easy to follow
- e.g. "icy breath mirrors my snowman's heart"? ("mirrors" simply because both things are cold?)
- "the world renews itself as we renew our love" sounds a little clichéd
In any case, the style, imagery and alliteration hooked me enough to finish reading it! That's always a good sign!
Keep penning!